CB Rules (aka Rookie Rules)
State Hunting Code
Section 6.3.4
Due to the impact of newly acquired members of a common hunting group, members of said group with more yearly seniority will thus be granted benefits not established for younger members. These regulations, commonly referred to as “Rookie Rules” are as follows:
The member of the group with the least amount of experience shall field dress and transport game harvested by elder members of said group. Said member will not be given rights to utilize any type of aid, excluding knife, to field dress and export the animal. Products such as rubber gloves, full arm protectants, clothespins (for nose), parkas, rain suits, tarps, duct tape, KY Jelly, chewing gum, ropes, tree branches, or any item of the like is strictly prohibited to such members.
The newest affiliate of the group is responsible for providing all of the more experienced members of the group with any food or beverage item requested. This includes the purchase, transportation, delivery, and preparation of said items. Consumption of items is optional for the rookie, as dictated by a two-thirds majority of senior members.
Junior members will be given the last option in hunting location. In addition, more elder members have the option of peeing on the rookie’s tree stand as often as desired.
Furthermore, senior members can require the rookie to complete special tasks, such as opening beverage cans, carrying all food/beverage/supplies into the woods, running naked through the woods screaming “I am a little girly man!”, sacrificing dry warm clothes, making drives through tag alder swamps more dense than the stool of the 750 pound man who hasn’t had a bowel movement in 23 days, etc., etc., etc. You know, important things like that.
Section 6.3.5
In addition to stated rules of Section 6.3.4, the following regulations have been ratified as of January 1, 2003.
The least senior member of said group, also known as “Camp Bitch”, shall be responsible for all propulsion of all water craft (Johnny-B), land transportation (any and all beer requests that require a designated driver), and the occasional hoists into tree-stands for senior members still to drunk to climb.
The “Camp Bitch” shall refer to senior members of said group as “Hunting Gods.”
The “Camp Bitch” is required to arrive at camp a 1/2 hour early each day of the regular Gun/Deer hunting season to awake senior members with the singing of said group’s theme song by Shad Rap……. You led a good life…you ate lots of corn………..
Finally, the “Camp Bitch,” shall be solely responsible for the preparation (cooling), local transportation (from the refrigerator to said senior member’s hand), and the hygienic cleaning of overflow re-hydration (wiping up any beer spilled by senior members of said group.)
Non-Discrimination Statement
Any new member shall be referred to as “Camp Bitch.”
Ratification
This constitution must be ratified by a 2/3 majority vote of the senior members.
Section 6.3.5.1 (Amended 2005)
Any member of said group that fails to meet the requirements of prioritizing their lives (GOD, HUNTING, SELF), shall be in direct violation. Penalties that may be enforced due to the violation may be, but are not restricted to, the following:
Direct or indirect hazing of said member, where as the member shall have to answer “Thank you sir, may I have another”
When spoken to by a senior member, said member must respond, “Yes, Oh hunting God”
Said member must ask forgiveness of the hunting gods by, running naked around the hunting shack yelling “I’m not worthy” to ward off any bad omens created.
Finally, said member must complete and pass a re-entry exam, which will be given on the Friday before hunting season.
Section 6.3.6
In order for existing members to be promoted to Senior Member honorary status, the following criteria must be met:
- Have at least 20 years experience hunting with the River Buck Lodge Group
- Complete an interview session with Senior Members where you present why you feel you are deserving of honor of being Senior Member.
- Attain majority vote of acceptance from Senior Members.
- Complete an initiation sequence which may include:
- Consume Wine, Brine, and Nut within a 2 minute window.
- Serve as Camp Bitch for Senior Members for 1 hour.
- Shotgun 1 OML or PBR.
- Complete first and honorary RBL Shotski with other select Senior Members.
- Other items as agreed upon by Senior Members.